1. Gourmet Tantric Ramen

A dish that can be best (and only) enjoyed when in mystical union with the oneness of the Universe.

  • 1x Packet of Nissin Instant Ramen (Ideally, Nissin Soba Classic)
  • 1x Quarter-jar of Pickled Onions
  • 1x Small tin of SPAM
  • 1x Quarter-bag of Roasted Cashew Nuts
  • 1x Hard-Boiled Egg (alternatively, Pickled Egg)
  • 1x Quarter-jar of Pickled Red Cabbage
  • 1x Slice of Cheese

Preparation Instructions:

Shred the SPAM into small chunks. If the pickled onions are too large, cut them into bitesize pieces.
Prepare multiple ramekins with the pickled onions, spam, cabbage, and egg.
Add to a saucepan the amount of water specified on the Instant Ramen packet. Bring to a boil.
As the gas flame flickers into life, contemplate the eternal torment awaiting your enemies after death.
Add soup base and seasoning.
Break noodles and place in saucepan. Visualize the yoke of tyranny and ignorance that dominates mankind being broken as easily.
As you add the shredded SPAM and pickled onion pieces, contemplate the enormity of your personal insignificance relative to the grandness of infinity.
Stir thoroughly and continuously.
While adding the cabbage, hold back the tide of emotion as you spontaneously recall all of the sadness and tragedy that has led you to this moment.
Slice the hard-boiled egg into two pieces and add them carefully, recalling the unreality of duality and the ultimate unity of all things.
After cooking for three to five minutes, drain noodle broth and decant the substance into a bowl.
Add the slice of cheese on top.
Add Sriracha and Tobasco Sauce to taste.
Add Balsamic Vinegar to taste.

Enjoy best with moderate glass of Single Malt Scotch Whisky (young).